I’ve been asked in the past, “When was your conversion?”(salvation experience) - meaning when did I crossover from an unbeliever to a believer in Christ?
For many years I was always stumped on how to answer that question. The reason is I had always believed in Jesus as far back as I can remember as a child. My family was Christian. That’s just what we said and what we believed. So I had always heard about Jesus. So yes I believed - I just didn’t KNOW. There’s a difference between believing and knowing.
Because I didn’t know - I didn’t know Jesus was more than my Savior - He was my Best Friend who literally wanted to be the center of my everyday life.
I didn’t know He was A Friend who would teach me, guide me, protect me and He was a trustworthy place to talk to Him about anything.
I didn’t know who I was in Christ.
I didn’t know His nature; I didn’t know Him period.
I didn’t even know I COULD know Him! I had no idea I had the privilege to go to the throne and lay all my junk at His feet.
From as far back as I can remember, I just thought He was God who came to earth, put skin on, died on the cross for my sins, and then went back up to Heaven. The only thing I knew was if I truly believed that, I will get to live in Heaven after I die.
I also believed He was just this Big God in the sky who couldn’t see me individually- He only saw His followers as a whole group.
I didn’t know He was my Heavenly Daddy who never missed one second of my life. His eyes are constantly on me and He knows my every thought. Even before I think it!!
People - That is close! God is your Father who loves you intimately - not in a sexual way but from the heart of a Creator who cherishes everything He creates. The same way that you feel about your offspring! That feeling - except on steroids! We are God’s offspring. He loves us 10x more than we love our own children!!
If I had known THAT as far back as I could remember in my childhood, I would’ve written a completely different book!
It would’ve been a novel of all the miracles I got to witness - maybe even got to perform a few by His spirit!
I could’ve written about the tons and tons of people I got to be a part of in some way, leading them to Christ and watching them transform.
I could’ve written about all the incredible places I got to see. When you’re close to Jesus and you know Him and who you are in Him - you get to travel! The journey may be short (like even in your own neighborhood) or long (maybe even in a different country) but no matter where you get to go with Him - you’re guaranteed an amazing adventure!
If only I had known I could KNOW Him intimately - I would’ve then known what He thinks of Me and THAT would’ve been a game changer in my youth. BUT GOD!
Even though I was ignorant of all I had at my disposal, there’s one thing I DID know. PRAY FOR MY CHILDREN!! I knew enough to yearn for my kids to have it better. Because He did teach me that, now my sons know Him and are enjoying those adventures serving Him!
Truly, at the time, I thought I was a lost cause and was only focused on praying for my children. It’s more like I felt too ashamed all the time to be able to pray for myself - other than the repetitive prayers:
“I’m so sorry.”
“I did it again when I said I never would.”
“Please forgive me and help me, Lord!”
Day by day and minute by minute He started teaching me how to depend on Him. He taught me how to war for my kids to stay on the right paths!
I did a LOT of that! I recognized the incredible gifts God gave both of my boys and I knew enough to realize I had better steward those well!! I had better teach them to love Jesus and the importance of using their gifts for the Lord.
I was a great talker but not the greatest of examples. I’m grateful to God that they didn’t fully realize that when they were growing up.
Little did I know, while I was asking Him to guard them and protect them (thinking more about their future when they are adults) - He was answering my prayers in those moments EVERY DAY! His grace is sufficient! He put a warm blanket of protection on both of them - guarding their hearts to be oblivious to the fact - “something’s off with Mom”. Only by God’s grace was I able to keep them isolated from most of the stupid decisions the adults in their lives were making.
I had enough sense to know there was no way I could raise these kids to know Him unless I got to know Him myself.
I knew just enough to realize my ONLY hope in providing for them was in Jesus. I began to understand I needed Him every minute. So, we began to spend a lot of minutes together. Now I know He is my Heavenly Daddy who loves me only like a doting Father can - unconditionally.
After writing this, God began to speak loud and clear to me through messages from His kids (two different preachers) who know Him in a much deeper level than I do.
God told me “Don’t be satisfied with the LITTLE you know about Me. Yes, you’ve got the basics down, but there’s still soooo much more to discover about Me.”
Confession: Since this book has become a reality now, I have been fighting off intimidation, fear of man, insecurity, and temptation to just sit BACK as if my deed for the Lord is done! I mean it did take 4 LONG years. So I deserve a break, right?
If I knew God in the way I CAN know Him - I would NEVER consider taking a break. My passion fire would constantly burn, I would CARE LESS what man thinks as long as I knew I was pleasing my Father. That would, in turn, end the comparison of others game; the lies that I’m a failure, and the insecurities that say “I am not cut out to be someone” God can use in a powerful way.
I BELIEVE He created me (AND ALL of US) to serve Him in great ways in order to build the Kingdom. I just need to search the scriptures until I KNOW that.
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.”
Revelation 3:20 NKJV
BELIEVING just opens the door for Jesus. KNOWING Him means we have to let Him into our house. Even if it’s a total wreck. He already knows how messy it is and He wants to help us clean it up. If we invite Him in to dine with us, we get to KNOW Him and THAT’s when the great adventure with our Best Friend begins!
2Peter 1:3 NLT) says:
“As we know Jesus better, His divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive His own glory and goodness!”
You may be like me when I asked , “BUT HOW? How do I get to know the Holy One, the Creator of All Things?”
When we finally realize He has given us a great tool in the Word of God to dig deeper and know His true nature; what He says about us; how He thinks and how much He loves us; we can continually learn new things about Him.
Each revelation will take us deeper into the truth of Who He is. That leads us to the truth that “We can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.” Philippians 4:13
In other words, when He knows (and we realize) we WANT to know Him, He begins to teach us HOW to know Him!
He has already given me 27 verses to start with. So, that’s where I’ll begin my deeper-knowledge quest.
Thanks for reading my thoughts. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a LOT of digging to do.
"Don't Fall For It"
Lisa Dunnam is not a renowned author. She’s someone who lives a quiet life in a rural region of West Texas. In her only book she will probably ever write, she takes the reader on a walk down memory lane to illustrate several decades of her life where she was trapped in the sins that many women struggle with - abuse, abortion, addiction, and adultery. Her low self-esteem and lost sense of identity were rooted in lies she believed about herself that began in her childhood.
These lies were from a source much deeper than she realized. She claims, “Satan’s biggest trick is to whisper lies to us when we are young and vulnerable that shape our self-image and derail our destiny.” Lisa gives blatant details of the pits she was pushed in, lured in, and even jumped in herself.
“When I look back on the past 63 years of my life, I see how God never took His eyes off me even in every dark situation I put myself in. There were many bad decisions, causing me to have to lie in the bed I made for myself. But, with each season of these trials, our merciful, loving, and patient Father still clung to my side, pursuing me unknowingly, until I finally awoke to a new day of free living in total surrender to Jesus. Those seasons lasted for decades but God is long-suffering, and He never goes back on His promises.
If you are someone who struggles with guilt and shame from decisions you have made in desperation – or you are still in that pit of despair - desperately looking to be loved, let’s be friends. Take this book and read my mail. It is my prayer that my story will help you see that you are already PERFECTLY LOVED! There is hope for tomorrow in Jesus Christ. I’m living proof of what the mercy of God can do!”
~Lisa Dee Dunnam,
Author & Blogger
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