In the 16th chapter of Genesis, it tells the story about a maidservant named Hagar that was chosen to bear a son to Abram, when his own wife could not conceive. Long story short, Hagar was eventually treated harshly by Abram's wife Sarai (as soon as Sarai realized she had conceived). Ultimately this was a result of going outside the plans and purposes of God due to jealousy, arrogance and the sense of entitlement in both women. Hagar finally feeling like she had the upper hand, by offering to Abram what Sarai could not, suddenly found herself in a wilderness riddled with fear and dread. (V.7 - "Now the Angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, on the way to Shur. (V.8) And He said, Hagar, Sarai's maid, where have you come from, and where are you going? She said, 'I am fleeing from the presence of my mistress Sarai." (V.9) The Angel of the Lord said to her, "Return to your mistress, and submit yourself under her hand." (V. 10) Then the Angel of the Lord said to her, 'I will multiply your descendants exceedingly, so that they shall not be counted for multitude. (V11) And the Angel of the Lord said to her: 'Behold, you ARE with child, and you shall bear a son. You shall call his name Ishmael, Because the LORD has heard your affliction. (V. 12) He shall be a wild man; His hand shall be against every man, And every man's hand against him, And he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren." (V. 13) Then she [Hagar] called the name of the LORD who spoke to her,' You are the God Who Sees'; for she said, 'Have I also here seen Him who sees me?"
In other words, a maidservant, having born a child out of wedlock (many would call a harlot) found herself in the wilderness . . . BUT GOD - never took His eyes off of her and showed her He is the God who sees. Let me offer you a modern-day story that's close to this. My story.
I have TONS of fond memories at Christmas time in my childhood, growing up in an in-tact family. Year after year, we followed the same family traditions of Christmas Eve at my grandparents with a delicious meal, followed by opening presents under their tree. Us kids always knew this was just the "dress rehearsal" for the "grand finale" to come the next morning when we would get to see what Santa brought us at our house and open our presents from our parents. Even though my family had our own share of problems - my parents didn't always see eye to eye (nice way of saying they fought over money frequently) - Christmas seasons were ALWAYS a time when they put their differences aside to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Christmas mornings were so special. My older siblings and I always put our own differences aside and got along best during Christmas time. On Christmas Eve we always insisted on sleeping in the same room with our matching pajamas with the anticipation of Christmas morning. We also insisted that we HAD to go see what Santa brought before the sun came up! My parents were not too thrilled with that tradition. It was always a joyful time. As a child I can remember dreaming about the traditions I would follow when I grew up and had my own family one day.
Fast forward to my adulthood. I spent several Christmas mornings trying to fulfill that childhood dream with three different husbands, where I bore two sons from two different husbands out of the three. By the time my sons were ages 4 and 9, I found myself in my own wilderness - divorced for the 3rd time. I felt like it was "three strikes and I'm out" of chances to make those same special Christmas memories with my children in an in-tact family like the ones I had.
I did my best to give my son's the "Best Christmas Ever" during my single-parent years. That was a HUGE challenge on my meager budget. God always blew me away each year how He gave me with creative ways to surprise them with His MIRACLES of financial provision. I remember one year; I saw no way in sight that I would be able to provide a magical Christmas present for them. It was one of the very first dreaded years, as a single mom, where their respective dads were given the right to have them on Christmas morning, and I would have to wait to celebrate with them a week later. I had two weeks to wallow in my loneliness and depression in our modest rent house. Let's just say that it would've definitely qualified for the popular show on the Magnolia Channel, "Fixer-Upper". I didn't know how l was going to be able to afford a special gift for them that year. I had no ideas period of WHAT to get them, knowing their dads would go overboard in giving them everything their hearts desired.
Then God sent my sweet big sister with her incredible domestic talents. She helped me come up with the idea, "Why don't we redecorate their room?" Their bedroom was far from being a "cool room to invite friends to handout" with furniture found at garage sales and absolutely no matching decor. Lori started thinking up the perfect color scheme and "sports theme" that any young boy would marvel at. We spent a week right after Christmas busy painting, wallpapering, shopping for curtains, along with a matching comforter for the trundle bed she gave me her own kids had outgrown. This more mature bed replaced the bunkbed made for toddlers that took up half of the small bedroom. It gave them more room to play. When it was finished, their new bedroom was equipped with a cool theme, a newly improved dresser with new drawer handles, and even a TV equipped with a DVD player to allow them to watch movies. Everything was donated by their generous and loving Aunt Lori (who never took the credit - gave it all to me). It was a special time hanging out with her as I helped her transform the boys' room into something they could be proud of. I will NEVER forget the look on their faces when I was able to surprise them when they came home. I built up their anticipation by telling them on the way back from picking them up, "Your Santa present is too big to wrap so, I just had to hide it behind your bedroom door." I could see their puzzled looks and hear their faint whispers to one another trying to guess what it could be. When I opened the door, their eyes were full of wonder and GLEE! They kept jumping up and down as they looked at each new site in the room and repeating, "COOL!"
Moral of this story . . . God is a GIVER of good things! Especially for your children. He will bring earth angels into your life when you least expect it.
The flip and darker side of this story though is how I spent many of those lonely Christmas seasons in the "odd years" the court awarded their dads to have them on Christmas. I wandered in a wilderness of sin trying to relieve my sorrow by living "the single life" of desperately trying to find my next husband. When those attempts failed, I would cry myself to sleep after watching another romantic Christmas movie where a couple falls in love at Christmas and lives happily ever after. During those 12 years of being a single mom, it never occurred to me that the Lover of my soul, was right there with me. The God who sees me, even though I never could see Him. My lonely sorrow could have been diminished if I had used those times to search for Him in His word and known I could talk to Him about ANYTHING. He would've listened and poured out His soothing spirit of peace and comfort.
Jesus - the very One who came down from His throne to enter our fallen world through the womb of a virgin woman - so that He could walk among us and save us from eternal Hell, was right there with me all along. I know today that He was, because I had accepted Him as my Savior when I was 12. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall NOT perish but have everlasting life." I believed in Jesus as my Savior . . . I did not KNOW Him as the God who sees me. He sat there in silence with me every one of those lonely Christmas seasons just waiting for me to cry out to Him. He would've made Himself known to me if only I had known I could call on Him. I always saw Him as this 'big God in the sky who only saw His believers as a crowd - not individually." Satan had me so wrapped up in a web of lies. God is a gentleman. He will never force Himself on His creation - His children - US. He gives us free will to choose Him.
How I wish I had known this back then when I spent so many lonely and desperate days attempting to find my joy on my own - in my limited knowledge of where TRUE JOY came from. I can gratefully report today that after 12 years of wandering in my own sinful wilderness, I finally did realize I could cry out to God! It wasn't during a Christmas season - it was in one of the most desperate seasons of my life when I was at the peak of my sinful rebellion. He still was faithful to quickly lift me out of my pit of despair and place me on solid ground! I am about to spend my 15th Christmas with THE man of my dreams I had as a child. Our blended family will gather around the Christmas tree opening presents - as an intact family - with siblings who never fight but instead have a close relationship. The word "step" is never used between them - they just say, "sister and brother". All because I finally knew to cry out to Him - the God who sees me. He sees you too.
If you're a single mom and this story resonates with you in any way this Christmas season - I pray my own ignorance will help you to be wiser, and know you have a Savior. He is the reason for this season - and He wants to fill your emptiness with His fullness of joy. Even if you've never accepted Him as your personal Lord and Savior - He is still waiting for that moment you will choose Him over the world. Jesus came to SAVE us from this fallen world, so that we can have everlasting LIFE. You can have an ABUNDANT life right now - even when the world is getting darker and darker.
If you already do know Jesus but are experiencing grief, loneliness, depression or anything else that is stealing your joy this Christmas . . . I pray this message will remind you to cry out to Him today and watch how He will show Himself ever present in your situation. He came to us the first time as a vulnerable baby . . . He will return soon as the Lion of Judah where every eye will see, every tongue will confess Jesus is Lord! For now, He will be your strength and shield for whatever you are going through now and, in the days, to come.
Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS - it's yours for the asking!!